How To Work With The Ego

The ego is not bad. I repeat the ego is not bad…

This has been showing up a lot in conversations lately & I thought it was time to give a little insight. It might sound weird to hear the ego isn't bad. When growing up we hear phrases like “she has a big ego” & are taught that ego is related to selfishness, arrogance, vanity, etc but that is far from the truth. 

ML definition of the ego: how we perceive ourselves in comparison to others & the world around us based on our thoughts, experiences, memories & feelings in this lifetime.

 This means the ego isn't bad, but the way we perceive ourselves can be. If you grew up thinking you were hot sh*t & chose to put all of your experiences through this lens reinforcing your belief that you are overly worthy, then yea you probably are arrogant. 

I doubt that applies to anyone reading this so let's look at it another way. If when you were a child you were told you couldn't have the toy you wanted. Based on this information you interpreted it as “I am not worthy” taking on the belief you are not worthy of having what you want. Over time more situations come up where you don't get what you want again & this reinforces your belief buried deep in your subconscious. 

 Now you are an adult & struggling or sabotaging your career, relationships, etc because ultimately deep down you don't believe you are worthy of these things in a healthy, happy, thriving way. You try something different to shift it & your ego fills you with fear & doubts to change your mind because the purpose of the ego is to keep us safe. It wants to keep us in our comfort zone because it is familiar & it knows what to expect. The ego's worst fear is to not be in control.  

We want to grow, to be the highest version of ourselves but trying to “destroy” the ego or ignore it isn't going to help you. It'll honestly just make it worse because your ego will fight back. To deny the ego is to deny part of why we are here in this lifetime – to be human. Instead of fighting the ego, begin working with it. Talk to it. Show it proof of others who have done it. Tell it why XYZ can work for you. Convince it you are worthy.

The ego is our friend – it shows us our shadows & our limitations so we can grow & evolve.

Begin to check in with it. Note any fears or limiting beliefs that come up & instead of pushing them down, acknowledge them, tell them why they are wrong & let them go. You can journal on this, do it in the car, while you are on a walk & soon it will become a habit.

Don't let fear hold you back from becoming your highest self. Know you are worthy of having everything you desire.